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Difference - Bottom vs. Submissive

topic posted Mon, June 20, 2005 - 11:16 AM by  Lara
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Hi Everyone!

Cybersport raised a very interesting thought in the Identity thread, so I thought I would open a new thread to cover.

The thought was: Difference between Bottom and a Submissive

sooo I will cover the "slave" aspects later, but I agree with Cyber in that there is definitely a difference in my mind between the two subject terms.

what might you all think on this one.


posted by:
Lara
Philadelphia
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  • In thinking about this a bit overnight, I was trying to mull over the concept of a bottom and I came up with a few thoughts.

    In general, in my mind, a bottom is not necessarily submissive but a person who enjoys scening from the bottom position. The bottom may or may not consider themselves to be a submissive, many consider themselves to be neither submissive nor Dominant but more accurately a switch.

    Although also I have run across quite a few Dominant's that enjoy bottoming for just scene related things and/or for Rope demonstrations and such.

    Also, I believe the bottom in many instances can be similar to that of a masochist (a person that enjoys pain being inflicted upon them). As in some cases Masochist's do not need to necessarily be submissive to enjoy receiving the pain.
    • some other things to concider ...

      A bottom can be a submissive, their submission it to the one who they choose to submit to but in a scene with a friend or a new aquantance they are just bottoming to be played with.

      A Dom/me can bottom to their slave or submissive if they are a masochist ... this is not submission.

      A Submissive is one who submits them selfs to some one to please that person ...

      Saying you are a submissive but only to things you like done to you, then you are a bottom!!!

      there is nothing wrong with Bottoming ... and any good dom/me will at least bottom so they can feel what it feels like to be recieving what they give.





      • Some very good thoughts, Saytr...... I suppose the thing that gets my nos eout of joint is when a Dom/me make sthe assumption that a person who prefers to play or scene from the bottom position HAS to be submissive....I'm realizing more and more that there are all kinds of way to approach this..

        Most importantly, individual tastes and differences should be respected

        Cybersport
  • Hey Everyone,

    I'm in the midst of reading the Slavecraft book, and the author actually touched on briefly the concept of: bottom versus slave.

    sooo thought I would add here a pretty good quote that it mentioned:

    "The chief difference between them is the orientation from which each pursues his own satisfaction. bottoms have appetities that are their own, whereas slaves' needs become the same as those of the Master".

    Another quote which was touched on which I found fascinating was as follows:

    "Bottoms and slaves are much more dramatically distinguished from each other when we imagine how each of these might respond to orders like, "Pick up my dry-cleaning this afternoon," or "Pick up the dog shit in the backyard and use your hands, " or "Go outside and stand on one foot, wait for the mail delivery, and fetch the mail", or even, "We are going to look at an exhibition of toy dolls next week at the museum. Read up on dolls before then so that you can explain them to me as we look at the exhibit together." Immediately, the differences become crystal clear. To the vast majority of bottoms, such orders would be laughable. For a slave, each of these represents an opportunity to give pleasure and find joy in surrending to His will."

    Definitely really fascinating stuff when you begin comparing the different dynamics and thought processes and such.

    Although, I'm sure each individual really truly interacts differently so not sure how "standardized" any one can make the dynamic differences where factoring individual personalities and such.

    ~Lara~

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